the narrow road

Yesterday was a bittersweet day! Grandma had long been ailing and had been in the hospital since Tuesday night! Everyday was painful to see at first with so many tubes in her weak frail body. Then we prayed and one by one the machines came off! PTL for that. But every step of the way grandma fought to stay on till her youngest daughter (my aunt) from Australia came down. After my aunt came grandma who had been semi-comatose, awake briefly to acknowledge my aunt’s presence and then slipped into deep sleep, induced by too much carbon dioxide in her system. Sunday was a day when the entire family did not go to church instead gathered around the matriarch of our family! Pint sized “supergran” who earned her name by jumping off a 5ft wall at the age of 82 and walked up across slippery boulders at the templer’s park waterfalls at 76 years, haha!! the stories of super gran are endless! At a grand age of 88 (she was to turn 89 in December) she breathed her last in a manner befitting a godly woman who loved her family and her God without limits!

My two aunts, my mother and myself were left late in the evening with grandma in the hospital. Watching her gasping for breath was painful but we knew she felt no pain. That day as I did on countless other days, i whispered to her, “Grandma, we all love you so much and also know that Jesus loves you much more. There is nothing to be afraid of and we will be alright here. Go if Jesus calls you.” That day after saying that, we had a mini service. I read Psalm 121, assured her that her Lord is watching over her comings and goings. We sang “Because He Lives”, “Amazing Grace” and “I am the Lord that Healeth thee”. We prayed a prayer of release. We prayed for the Holy Spirit to speak and assure grandma. After that we ended the beautiful prayer time. We lingered for another 5 minutes before I left to bring mum home! Before we could even clear the car park, we got the call. She went to Jesus! My aunts said she took a huge breath, then a big sigh and then stopped breathing. No gasping, no panic….just peace! What a wonderful way to go…to be ushered into God’s presence with psalms and songs and prayers of loved ones! Wow! We cried because we would miss her, but rejoiced because she went home in peace and i am sure Jesus received her with JOY!

I will miss my grandma who inspires tenacity, long suffering and patience. I will miss the “Queen of One-Liners” , her wit was never quite matched by all of us, yet it is the one thing that is common with all of her children and grandchildren! LOL! I could really go on and on about her! A thousand page book would only skim the surface of a woman of her caliber.

If you want to catch a glimpse of her character, read Proverbs 31. She was not without her faults, yet through it all she never wavered in her faith in the Lord! I will miss her and always love her. Can’t wait till I get to heaven to meet her and my grandpa and dad and granny and many others!

Mary Retnabai Philips – Born 21 December 1920. Gone home to Jesus on 26 October 2008.

It has been a while since i tapped out something here! Last week never ended and merely spilled over into this week. On Tuesday as i was getting ready to be off for cell at cyberjaya, i received news that grandma (paternal) dearest was rushed to hospital due to breathing difficulties. Stress! In a matter of 20 minutes, drivers were re-routed, plans were changed (thank God for flexible leaders) and off I went to the hospital. It was not nice at all. At that point it was a touch and go if she would make it! Apparently she had loads CO2 in her system which naturally caused complications. Immediately they ascertained that she could no longer breathe on her own, so a ventilator was attached to her. When they finally allowed us into the trauma room, i felt as though my guts were wrenched out! Seeing my dear grandma having half a dozen tubes and attached to many machines beeping loudly was really almost more than I could bear. I called my brother and broke down before the first sentence was out! The cells prayed. The leaders prayed. There was nothing left but prayer!

It was disheartening to note that there were no rooms available at all that night we camped till late outside the hall of the trauma center. I left by midnight. My aunt and uncle stayed till 1am when a room opened up in the Infectious disease unit! (Yes really!!) But through out the night, God was working his miraclous touch. As the nurses and doctors monitored the CO2 content in her blood hourly, there was a steady and clear reduction! They expected to leaved her under full sedation for at least 3 days, after one night, they could reduce the sedation and she was alert and responsive. Though unable to talk because of the tubes she was as quick witted in her smiles and expressions! WOW! Today, she was even trying to recite bible verses as I was reading out the bible to her! Truly a Powerful yet Gentle God that we love and serve. Only He could touch grandma that way! WOW!

This is the same fiesty lady that jumped over a 5ft wall whenshe wass 82 years old when she was locked out of the back door! Yeah-she broke her leg in the process. She is the only elderly person that i know needs to be cautioned about jumping over walls! Haha! She is 89 years and for as long as I have lived, has been a tower of tremendous strength. Always there withe food and milk in hand (she always thought i was undernourished!), always admonishing us about going to church, always smiling despite the tough times of life-a woman that is clearly described in Proverbs 31. I read this passage out to her (among many others) and affirmed this message to her. She teared as I told her that she did an amazing job as mother, grandmother and great-grandmother! I meant every word!

Thru these highy emotional times, it has been a stretch with cell lessons, christmas program planning, cell host dinner planning, preaching at the senior citizens and youth church on sunday! I came to the end of myself and started fasting for a breakthrough! I am trusting God to lead and teach me all the way! All that is upon my plate is ordered by my good Lord! I will trust Him! Woo hoo!

Long night ahead…but Jesus will be with me..as He is with grandma! Pray for her too k? I wanna see her home soon! Jesus take the wheel – I cant do it any more on my own!